This is the third original music release from r/SixthWorldMusic, a Reddit-based society of obscure, underground music enthusiasts active since 2015. Each year without fail, our good friend and benefactor, Gary, sequesters his disciples in his basement studio and enjoins them to create an all-original music album upon which he will determine the fate of our society, and all society. Gary has judged the album to be of the highest quality, and for that, we all owe a debt of extreme gratitude, both to Gary and to our talented musical artists—you are our heroes, and we thank you for your service.


{= PLEASE ENJOY AUDIO REFRESHMENT =}

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Triumph of Gary's Love

What great fortune we have enjoyed over the last five years to have our good friend Gary by our side in our mission to explore the weird and wonderful world of esoteric music. Gary’s largesse is legendary, and his benefactions are manifold. Still, none are so prized as having been blessed with Gary’s special love—a love so potent it burns like a fever inside us and leaves us weak, delirious, and breathless in its wake.

Our membership has grown to thousands, and we all are blessed with Gary’s special love, but it’s still not enough—Gary’s love is so profound that it must be communicated to the whole world, but how? As with all things, we turned to Gary for the answer. In formulating his solution, Gary embarked on a journey of deep study and contemplation. His research led him inexorably to the world of the microorganism—so elegant in their design and so steadfast in their resolve—Gary knew he was on the right path.

He considered the noble bacterium, with its ability to evade the poisons directed against it by the misguided and myopic medical profession, but ultimately he cast the notion aside, as its long life cycle rendered this otherwise truly admirable microbe unsuitable to spread his love with the urgency his plan required. The parasite, the protist, the prion—all so venerable and magnificent in their own way, but all with their own shortcomings; ultimately, they offered but a partial solution. Then he hit upon it—the virus! So tiny and unassuming, any normal person would surely have dismissed the option without a second thought, but Gary is not a normal person. He recognized that only the virus possessed the intrinsic virtues required to spread his love to the entire world. Yes, this would be Gary’s final solution!

He retired to his basement lab, working dawn to dusk with unswerving dedication to engineer his special love into a virus so perfect and indomitable that even the most sophisticated countermeasures the wayward world of modern medicine could conjure would be utterly powerless to stop its spread. The challenge was enormous, but Gary was equal to the task, and, as with all things, he prevailed.

After much deliberation, Gary chose to bestow his gift to the world from China, its human-rights record distinguishing it as the only country worthy of holding the high honour of being the birthplace of Gary’s special love. He dispatched his devoted acolytes to Wuhan, his payload concealed inside their own bodies to avoid any inconvenient questions a rack of test tubes might provoke from a luggage screening officer. The mission was a success, and Gary’s special love was unleashed upon the world.

So if, like us, you one day find yourself feverish, weak, delirious, and struggling to breathe, then rejoice, for you too have been blessed with Gary’s special love.*

*Gary disavows any involvement in the COVID-19 pandemic.

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